I often realize, in a moment of clarity, what a hypocrite I can be. I think I have it all straight and then I realize that I let myself get off track, and it frightens me how easily and unnoticabley that it happens.
I saw commercials for the bucket list, when it was first released to theaters. But I didn’t have much ambition to go see it, nor even thought much about the movie. Just another wacky comedy, but with two legends in the lead roles.
But I just watched it with Bridget and it got me thinking. I’m so terrified of my own death, and yet I always curse my life. I’ve been thinking that I had been cursed, with everything going on lately, and I think it may have been me that I was cursed by in the first place, from letting myself be blinded.
The Bucket list is about two men in their last months, who become friends after sharing a hospital room. As a last gesture at living life, they compile a list of things they need to do before they die, and off they go on a wonderful adventure..
I won’t give too many details, but each man saves the other in some way, and at the end, their time together was the best in their lives.
I loved the ending.
But now, I’m sitting here, thinking about my last days when they come. Fortunately, I’m still young enough to believe that it’s a long way off, and probably will never come for me anyhow.
At least, hopefully, not before I can acheive enough realization to not lose sight of myself anymore.
From September 12, 2008